Goodbye, Moony
by Gold Eyes
Summary: What will I do without Moony inside of me?


Notes: This was written for a 30-minute challenge on another site. The challenge asked for your end to Harry Potter after the war is over. This was my epilogue, just what happened to Remus after the war ended (what I want to happen, anyway).

-

**Goobye, Moony**

It is only proper that the day after Remus' war wounds have healed, a full moon occurs.

_His last full moon_.

Remus looks out of the Hospital Wing's window. In a few minutes, he will make his way down to the Whomping Willow, crawl beneath it, and spend his night in the Shrieking Shack as a werewolf, as Moony-

for the last time.

"Professor Lupin?"

Harry's voice is low and Remus almost believes that he hasn't heard it, but he can hear the boy fidgeting behind him.

"I am not, nor have I been for a while now, your professor, Harry," he takes a deep breath, fearing each emotion that his voice may give away. Now is not the time for fear, but he can't help it. He's so used to being afraid that it's become his default.

Harry ignores his statement, instead focusing on the night and on the moon.

"Sir," he begins, "err - Professor McGonagall - well, she told me what you and the other Aurors found in the hideaway; what Greyback found out-" he stops there, waiting for even the barest nod that he is listening and that what he's saying is true. It never comes. "Sir," Harry can hear the plea in his voice, but at the same time there's hope, "Why would Greyback hide something like that?"

At this, Remus turns. "Harry, as brave as you are, as strong as you are, you are still naive." He watches the boy and chuckles as he realizes that a child is the one who defeated the Dark Lord. An innocent child. "Greyback didn't want to stop being a werewolf. He wanted revenge. He didn't give anyone a choice on whether he would make them a werewolf and he wouldn't give anyone a choice on whether or not they wanted to go back to their human life." He swallows hard, looking at the bag the Minister handed him as a reward for his efforts. Inside is his fate. "Harry, he hid potion because it would end his reason for living, which was to terrorize and torture."

A tear slid down Harry's cheek. The first since the end of the war.

"So, it's true?" it's not truly a question, but he can't help the rise in his voice. "Sir, I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Everything's over and everything's changing. Voldemort's dead, Dumbledore's dead, Sirius is de- and you're going to be human again. Completely. I'm happy it's all over, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do now." More tears fall.

Remus watches Harry silently for just a moment before grabbing the bag and placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. He squeezes it for a moment and whispers softly, "Live, Harry. That's all you have to do. Be with your friends who survived. Mourn those who didn't. But just live." He passes the boy, but when he gets to the door, he turns and watches his back, "You are the Boy Who Lived. Prove it. In every sense of the word, Harry, prove it." With that, he leaves the boy on his own, and makes his way down the stony stairs.

His walk isn't long, and he reaches the inside of the Shrieking Shack before he knows it.

As he settles himself, he reaches into the bag and pulls out what is it in. First is a piece of parchment, then a quill and ink, and then finally the small bottle with its blue potion inside. When he places it all on a dusty desk, he shivers.

Picking up the quill, he begins to write as, finally, his own tears fill his eyes.

-

_Dear Padfoot,_

_I'm afraid this is finally goodbye, the one that you were always hoping for. I wish you were here to see it, perhaps you are and I just can't tell. _

_I apologize for my penmanship. It seems that my hand is anxious or afraid or happy or-_

_or terribly sad._

_Sirius, I miss you terribly, so terribly. And I know I'm going to miss you even more after tonight. What will I do without Moony inside of me? With no Padfoot by my side, no longer needed to soothe him._

_But I need you, Sirius. Remus needs you. He's always needed you._

_I told Harry that he should live and be free now that it's all over and yet I can't seem to want to take my own advice. I don't want to lose that last connection to you. As much as it hurts. A few hours out of an entire month with the connection seems like nothing compared to forever without it._

_I can feel you now._

_You're probably yelling at me, you were very good at that back in school. Telling me to stop acting all self righteous and just get it over with. Telling me that I need this more than I need you. I wish I didn't know you so well and I wish you didn't know me so well._

_It's almost time, Sirius, and I'm terrified._

_I miss James. I miss Lily. I even miss Peter._

_But I miss you. I'm going to miss you so much, I can't stand it._

_Well-_

_Goodbye, Padfoot._

_Yours,_

_Moony_

_-_

Remus listens as his breath comes out in shuddering gasps. Halfway through writing, he began sobbing, tears falling onto the parchment, staining his words. He swipes at his eyes, trying to control himself, but he can't seem to.

He lets out a long, gasping breath, and groans low in his throat.

The bottle sits by his left hand and he makes a grab for it, opening it quickly.

As it slides down his throat, he can feel it moving through his blood and it feels as if it moves through each of his muscles as they themselves begin to change.

His teeth chatter slightly as his form begins to change.

His last thoughts are that this is the last moon. Tears and shuddering gasps wrack through his body.

_Goodbye Sirius. Goodbye Padfoot. Goodbye Prongs. Goodbye Wormtail. Goodbye- goodbye-_

_Goodbye Moony._

He howls.

-

Notes: I realized after I finished this that I wrote the same ending/last words for my first Remus story. It just, well, fits. So, I left it.


End file.
